The first thing I learnt was that God hates divorce. Any kind of divorce is a sin. I had to genuinely ask for forgiveness concerning this. I thank the Lord for the blood of Jesus that washes away all sins. I believe Elohim does not count this against me. I am righteous in His sight by the finished work on the Calvary. I am not ashamed of my marital situation.
Secondly and for me the most important was asking God for revelation to me of His will and plan for my life. I understood that not everyone is meant to be married. Irrespective of how the church perceives singleness - many a vigil has been held for unmarried sisters and brothers. Decrees and prophetic declaration has been made. If there are so many mighty men and women of God in the bible that were single who says everyone must be married? Jesus was not, neither was John the Baptist, Apostle Paul, the Samaritan woman that became the first evangelist was divorced so many times before she met her Saviour. And many more examples (search the word yourself).
What was God’s plan for my life when He had me in mind even before He formed me? Was I meant to be married or single for Christ?
Thirdly, if my life was to bring glory to God what decisions and actions must I take that will bring glory to Him rather than questions about His word and Him that I serve.
Fourthly, the need to make restitution and put relationships right. It was not about who was wrong or right. It is easy to always blame the other person and not reflect on your own part in the situation. I had to purposefully seek and make restitution for the breakdown of my marriage (ask for forgiveness for my part in what led to the divorce).
And then hand over my life to Elohim. I had to go through a spiritual journey of maturity to get to the place where I can say through heart belief - 'Whatever you want of me Lord, here I am. Married or not married, it is all about you. Yes I would like to be married but Your will for my life takes precedent.'
It was not easy and it is not easy. It is a daily commitment. But I rest on the promises of God that His plan is to give me a hope and a future. He delights in every details of my life. He gave me beautiful children. He did not ordain children outside of marriage. But my life is about Him.
Where I am now is living a life that is about Elohim, the expansion of His kingdom and the glory of His name. Do I want to get married and have a home? Of course yes. BUT I am not doing that in my power or by the flesh. I have and still pray that Almighty God will do what He has in plan for me. What He will do that I will testify. What He will do that will bring glory and honour and many souls to give their lives because He is the one that can make dead bones to live again.
Do I worry about the passage of time. NO because I fill my life with Him. I focus on using the gifts He has given me by empowering others; sharing my testimonies, lifting others up like writing this blog. It is when you focus on yourself so much that you give your flesh the opportunity to take control of your thoughts.
All I know is that God will restore my marital life and it will be done in a way that will not be divisive to the body of Christ but will be a jaw-gapping, hands lifted, body rolling on the floor testimony to the Almighty!
Whilst I am waiting for their manifestation of God’s will concerning this, I am living and loving life! I am maximizing this time of singleness to travel and do the work of the kingdom.
Are you a divorced child of God, seek God for your situation, focus less on it, enjoy life and let God be God in your situation. Marriage does not define who you are but complements you. Let God take charge and you enter His rest. Do not worry about what people are saying or will say. Age is just a number. It is better your latter years is greater than your early years. Don't waste each second of your life in worry, self-doubt and unhappiness. Fill your life with Elohim. When you then want to remarry no-one will doubt this is the work of the ALMIGHTY GOD. And it will be in line with His word.
By the grace of Elohim, I want to encourage the matured singles in the body of Christ - either matured never been married (over 35s), divorced and young widows.
I will be starting a non-denominational SINGLENESS IN CHRIST FELLOWSHIP in 2018 by the grace and will of Elohim.This will be a weekly one and half hours fellowship through social media forum; studying the word, praying together, sharing and encouraging each other. If you are interested in joining send me an email - adeola@we-can-leadershipinstitute.com, message me through Facebook Adeola Akintoye or send a message through this blog. I am excited as I look forward to what Elohim has in store for us.
I hope you have been blessed and encouraged by these series.
Shalom
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