#LifeLessons: Rose tinted glasses?

(The forgiveness Series 2)

5 June 2016

Have you ever been hurt before? I sure have, devastatingly so. It's easy to advice someone to forgive and forget. But reality is, forgiveness is one of the most difficult things in life - not when your heart had been ripped apart with betrayal, pain or loss.

I went through baptism of fire in forgiveness when I was hurt in the Christendom. As Christians we have (very) high standards and expectations of each other - after all we are meant to be holy and righteous. We put people on pedestal.

We expect people to be righteous because God says He has made us so through the blood of Jesus. You know what, I have reflected and mused and come to the conclusion that only God can see people as righteous. He has to, for Him to be able to relate with us. I see people including myself as fallible, imperfect as long as we are still in this human flesh.

Going back to my baptism of fire. It was a journey. I must confess, I would have left the Christendom if I was a new babe in Christ. My rose tinted Christian glasses was knocked off and it shattered into many pieces never to be put together again. I had expectations of how Christians should behave - Christ like and my expectation was cut short.

I thank God for His Holy Spirit that used this experience as a training process for me. I needed to work on myself. Was I reflecting Christ in my own behaviour? Maybe, maybe not. I became more conscious of Christ's expectation as a Kingdom citizen. Remember Jesus' teaching; take the plank out of your own eyes before complaining about others.

I began to work on my character. It was and it is not easy. It's a lifetime process. The experience thought me that it is easy to see other people's short coming but we all have it. Was I reflecting the expectations I had of other people? Irrespective of what people do to me, I will be judged for my own actions not theirs. If I don't forgive and let go, I will be judged for it.

Never put anyone on any pedestal. They will fall. I am learning to shrug things off. Life is too short to fill it with offence.

Lastly and something that requires consistent prayers is seeing people not through the lens of righteousness (leave that to God) but through Christ eyes - with agape love. It is only through this agape lens that love can cover a multitude of sin. Not by ourselves but through the power of the Holy Spirit. No matter what people do to you, Jesus still loves them.

Yep, He does because He died for those that committed that unforgivable sin in our eyes. So, who am I not to forgive?

I pray the Holy Spirit will fill us more and with abundance of grace to love with agape. Remember, if your heart is filled with un-forgiveness, there will not be any space for agape love. Empty it of offence and fill it with agape love.

How about you?

#LifeLessons: The Cancer that you can control

(The forgiveness Series 1)

22 May 2016

Un-forgiveness is like cancer. Once the seed is sown, it starts growing and spreading like a bush fire; consuming, destroying and killing all things in its part. The only way to stop it is to uproot it from the root. The only way to prevent it is not to let the seed be planted in the first place.

Not too long ago, I was hurt. I had un-forgiveness threatening my life. Yes, that is what it does. It steals your peace and joy, and most importantly your relationship with God.

I was hurt! It was not even one incidence but a series of incidences by the same person. Those incidences, I felt were meant to humiliate and deliberately hurt me. It was even more painful because it was in an environment that I expected to be full of love. I flirted with bitterness and nearly took the pill of offence.

What saved me was the fact that I had Jesus Christ in my life. I kept remembering He forgave me, why would I not forgive this person. I lost respect for this person. I mistrusted anything they said. I found myself reading meanings into what they do. Through this, I opened myself to battlefield of the mind.

I knew I was in trouble because the Holy Spirit kept convicting me through my conscience. On judgement day, would I use the person as an excuse for not forgiving? Was their own action powerful enough over my life to dictate my actions?

I knew I was fighting a spiritual battle because I know what the God I serve says about forgiveness (Matt 6:14-15, 18:21-22, Luke 6:37 examples). I was in this battle for about a year.

So I started fighting it. No one was going to make me miss my eternity. I prayed consistently for the Holy Spirit to help me to forget the pain, that when I see this person, I will not remember the pain.

I started taking control of my thoughts by confessing Philippians 4:8. It became my favourite verse;  Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Anytime I see the person I recited the verse, to keep away any negative thoughts. It worked.

I prayed to be filled with agape love – not the ordinary flesh inducing love but the love that covers all sins, one that does not anger; that sees through Christ eyes, the love that comes from above. I prayed to love this person with agape love. I then started working it out. Whenever I see the person, I will greet and hug them. I went out of my way to help them. I was determined to love them. Agape love does not depend on feelings but based on decision.

Gradually the feelings of hurt died. I see them now I feel love. I have also come to know and understand their character and nothing they do now could hurt me again because I shrug off their weaknesses and focus on their strengths. I want to put my energies in working on my own weaknesses – there is a lot of that already!

I came out of that experience having a deeper understanding that forgiveness is not easy but it is not impossible. The Holy Spirit is there to help us work it out.

How about you?